Being back in the city....well not actually the city but the suburbs makes me realize how much I've missed living here. I like having a store, a bank, a post office, a library and more just a few minutes down the street and within walking distance. Having a great park to take the kids to is a good benefit too. This city of Rio Rancho has grown a lot since I've lived here last. That means there are more places to shop and more stuff to do. Pretty much anything I want to do or anyplace I want to go is within a 10 minute drive from this house.
Living in the country had it's benefits also. I think it was a good environment for my son and very safe. It was peaceful and quiet. But....it was also very isolating. As much as I tried to fit in with that lifestyle I don't think I ever really did. I loved the idea of having a garden and raising some chickens but we never got around to it. We did try planting a garden the first year I was there but it did not do well at all and we never got around to planting one again.
I feel like when I was in South Carolina I was trying to be someone I was not. I even felt pressured to be someone I am not. I don't think I ever felt completely at home there.
I think that overall there are a lot more opportunties for me here. There are a lot more jobs available here and I have an interview tomorrow. Anyone reading this keep your fingers crossed for me....or say a prayer....or whatever it is that you do. I'm still applying for more jobs and I know I'll find one soon.
I've been thinking about relationships even though I know I don't want one at this time. For me something that has become very important is that I have a relationship with someone who shares my beliefs. It's so awesome to be able to talk to a partner about what I believe in, have him listen to me and possibly agree with me. I can't imagine being with someone who has totally different beliefs. This did not matter to me in the past. Because it's only been about 10 years since I started searching and seeking and then believing. There was someone who helped me along this path, taught me a lot, had incredible patience when I did not understand something and spent hours and hours discussing spirituality and religion. If not for him I don't think I'd have the Faith that I have today. He is helping me once again, in a different way this time and his humor, love and kindness are making such a difference in how I see the situation that I've been in the past few weeks. This is my friend George who I've not only been lucky enough to know in this life but many others as well. Well these are my thoughts and feelings for today.