We can't really compare one relationship with another. In my very long marriage I was a with a man who was indecisive, really had no expectations from me and from the beginning put most of the decision making on me. I thought that was the way relationships were supposed to be. Then I met and started a life with a man who was very different. He knew what he wanted in life, what direction he wanted his life to go in and he had a mind of his own. He expected a lot from me. I took this the wrong way and told myself it was about control and stubbornness. I thought he wanted to tell me what to do and I was not having any of it. Being the stubborn person that I also am, we butted heads on a lot of issues. I thought I was right, he thought he was right. Many times there seemed to be no middle ground. We started to have disagreements about the most ridiculous things. Our life together seemed to be going nowhere and not moving forward. This was a wake up call for me and I also believe that it was for him. It made me take a good look at myself and what I wanted in life. We both realized that what we really wanted was what we already had. Isn't it funny how we often think that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence? Then when you get to that other side of the fence you realize that what you had in the first place was what you always really wanted. Then you feel stuck in a life you don't feel you belong in. Sometimes the universe throws us a second chance and we need to grab onto that chance which is probably fate, put the past behind us and start all over again. Don't let the past get in the way of the future again. We can create our lives to go in the direction we want. If we throw out negative thoughts that's what we get back. If we choose to live our life in a positive light that's what we will get in return.
As I've been going to a New Thought type church my life my state of mind and my attitude seem to be taking a different turn. I feel much more at peace within myself. I can't even begin to say what an impact the people in this church have had on me as I slowly get to know them. One way to describe it is that it's like going from a barren, lifeless desert into a lush tropical oasis filled with LOVE. I went to a church like this when I lived in SC but since I did not open my heart to the love found there it did not have the same impact on me as I have allowed this one to have. Surrounding myself with positive, loving people is the best decision I could have made. Thank y'all for reading my thoughts today.
Peace be with you all.