Monday, May 12, 2008

My Thoughts For Today.

Geographically speaking, I think people are not meant to live in certain areas of the country. I don't like being far away from certain amenities. For instance, I like to have the basics near me such as a post office, library, grocery stores, department stores etc. I don't like to have to drive a half hour or more to get to these places. Better yet, it's nice to have these places within walking distance. I have never lived in a really big city however. I grew up in Gloucester, MA. If I remember correctly it was a city of around 20,000 back then. I lived about an hour away from Boston. So if I felt I needed a dose of the big city it was within reasonable driving distance. I remember going there for many field trips in school and later on when I had kids going there to museums and it was lots of fun. Driving there however could be a nightmare and I'd never want to live there.
Later on when I was in my 30's I felt drawn to move to the Southwest. We had gone there on vacation to New Mexico and the pull I felt to be there was very strong. I felt a strong connection with the culture, the people and the land itself. To me NM has a mystical feeling to it as well as spiritual. As much as I still love NM....I think that as we grow and change, our preferences change also.
Then 4 years ago I met Russell online and I moved to South Carolina. I never really felt at home in that area of the country. It was beautiful and peaceful and I tried to convince myself that I loved it there. I was fooling myself though. It was too isolating and I spent much of my time there feeling depressed. I read somewhere awhile back that if people were living in the wrong place....a place that they did not connect with spiritually...then it could affect them in many ways including healthwise.
Fast forward to this past winter. I went back to New Mexico and lived there for 7 weeks. Despite the fact that my kids are there and I love them all did not feel the same there. Something was missing. That something was Russell.

So here I am now in Oklahoma and we are back together again. All this moving seems to be taking a toll on me. I need time to adjust to this place and feel settled in my new life. I need to take time to meditate and collect my thoughts and figure out if this is the place where I want to live from now on. I feel restless at times. I like stability and I've had little in my life over the years. So I don't know why I feel restless. I feel at times that I'm searching for something and I don't quite know what it is. I think a lot of people feel this way. On this incarnation that we have on this earth we are restless souls missing our real home and all the time searching and not even knowing what we are searching for. Just look in the mirror and you will see in front of you what you are searching for.
Peace to y'all.


  1. hmm, my mommy seems to understand... she has been stuck home for almost a year cos of me and badly needs a break.. he he.

    nice blog :-)

  2. Good Luck in your search for peace! Love your blog!

  3. I think I would be well-suited to a dry, sunny, warm climate. Baltimore is damp because it is a port city. Sometimes it goes 7-10 days straight with no sun, and that's hard for a changeling to take. It's too bad the southwest states are al Rebublican. They wouldn't be too welcoming to a gay changeling witch, ha ha.

  4. Hey Emaan......You are sure one good looking dude and the youngest blogger I've ever come across. Say hi to Mommy and Daddy for me. :)

  5. Thank you Pearls and Chocolate. I love your blog too!

  6. Hey wait a minute Indigo, I'm in the Southwest and I'm a Democrat! haha