Thursday, May 8, 2008

Parenting Is Difficult

It really upsets me that one of Russell's grown children in the Carolinas is treating him so unfairly. He moved to the Carolinas over five years ago to get to know his children who were taken there by their mother when they were younger. He wanted to become involved in their lives, get to know them again, and spend time with them. It did not quite turn out the way he expected. Without going into details about personal lives I will say that two of his children lived the type of lifestyle that he did not want for himself. His other child is a wonderful mother and is well adjusted in her role as a Mom to 4 great kids. This is what he wants for his two other children as well. Of course we can't choose the lives that our kids live or choose the path that they decide to follow. We have to stand by and watch them make mistakes, even mistakes that we may have made in the past and hope that they learn from them. It's a very scary thing to see our children make such bad decisions in the way that they live their lives and we know there's nothing we can do about it. We can give advice but most of the time they are going to do what they want to do no matter how we feel about it.
Now as for his daughter who is treating him the way she is right now, he tried to get together with her before we left to tell her in person that we were leaving. He tried to meet up with her the night before but friends seemed to be more important. Then the next morning, he tried to get together with her for breakfast but it seems she does not have an appetite that early in the morning. So he had to tell her on the phone that we were leaving. He even told her that she was more than welcome to come with us. But there are too many things that are keeping her there....mainly the unhealthy lifestyle that she is living. Maybe in time she will realize that she wants something better that what she now has the person who is keeping her there is nothing more than a very bad influence over her.
As Russell is going through it now, I've seen my kids make some bad choices in life and it really sucks that I can't do a damn thing about it. All we can do is hope for the best for them, and hope they get their lives straightened out.
Peace to you all....and especially at this time to my children and Russell's.


  1. aawwww... i think i'm understanding this. i was like his daughter once but i realized things after a while. i hope his kids would too.


  2. Yikes! I'm sorry that he has to go trough this (as you have!) I guess a big part of parenting is just "being there" when they come out the other side and realize that they need you!

  3. Hi! This is Indigo. Thanks for the visit :)

    I agree with Lisa: a big part of the job is just being emotionally available, loving, and nurturing. Kids will make bad choices and unfortunately some lessons have to be experienced to be learned. I know it's been that way for me at least!

    Oh... I took the "Are you an Indigo" test and scored 85%.

  4. It is very difficult! I have a 23 year old daughter and my Man has a 24 year old son. Both have chosen not to go to college and are making really stupid mistakes! Drugs, drinking, and my girl is with an ars-hole of a man. Just like I did at that age. And of course we know nothing, have never been there . . . I'm learning the best thing I can do is keep my mouth shut, listen, let her know that I am here if she needs me, and let her know that I love her!
    I made it through and turned out to be an okay of a person . . . hopefully they will to, and if not that is their choice and really has nothing to do with me.
    It is hard to let go of though sometimes.

  5. Thanks for the comments everyone. Hopefully, things will improve with time.

    Indigo, I'm not surprised you scored that high on the test.