Sunday, January 22, 2012

Events Of The Past Month

Well here goes. I am finally ready to write about what happened in the past month. For about 6 months, I worked on the house in Oklahoma, a house that was in Russell's name. I helped demolish a bathroom, fixed cracks, painted, did some minor electrical work and after all that was done, I worked to get it all in perfect shape so that it could be listed with Century 21. In a month, they only showed the house one time and another agency showed it once. I found a buyer for the house. We sold it to a woman that I used to work with at the bakery and her husband. I did most of the running around getting paper work etc, since we took it off the market and sold it ourselves. Everything got done and we were originally going to leave on December 17th because the people we sold it to wanted to get into the house by Christmas.  I decided myself that I would leave on a day before Russell did in order to spend a day in Stanley, New Mexico over my daughter Kristene's house. I had seen her so seldom that I felt that even one day would make a difference.

I said goodbye to Russell and left about 2 pm on a Friday afternoon. I arrived in Stanley about 10 pm at night and my daughter met me at Walmart so I could follow her down the numerous long dirt roads that led to her house. I called Russell to let him know that I got there and I thought everything was fine. The next morning I called to see if he'd left yet and he answered the phone and said he just woke up. Later that afternoon I tried calling him because I was worried due to the weather being bad. He was driving the largest size UHaul and pulling a 16 foot loaded trailer as well. he would not answer his phone. I continued to try to call but answer. I tried to call his Mother and sisters but they said they had not heard from him. As a last resort I called the woman we sold the house to and she acted confused and said he left the night before. Now I was really in a panic.

This is what happened while I was at my daughter's house worrying about him. He called my daughter Kayla and told her that he was leaving all my stuff in New Mexico in a storage unit. He told her to meet him there and get my dog. Kayla was afraid to go by herself so she brought her Dad with her. The two of them unloaded all my stuff in a storage unit. Then he left after mumbling a bunch of random stuff that made no sense...according to Kayla. Then, before he left he leaned into Kayla's Dads truck and said to Kayla....I think your older sister is hot and I know I shouldn't feel that way. This goes to show that you may not know somebody even if you have been with them for almost 8 years. He gave her $400 to give to me (generous huh?) to add to the approximately $100 that I'd had left in gas money.

Then, Kayla went and picked up her older sister and her younger brother and they drive to Stanley New Mexico to tell me the news. I was absolutely devastated. I drank that night....not much...but enough that I spent half the night throwing up. It was more from stress than drinking. I spent about 5 days there wishing I could just go to sleep at  night and not wake up. It just made me sick to think that I'd done all this work on the house, found the buyer and had dreams of living in Arizona and all the time he was hatching this scheme to leave me in New Mexico. I really hated him at first. Then I just realized he was nothing but a coward and a liar and that I was way better off without him. It was a blessing in disguise. It really was. All my family is here. I had forgotten how much I love living in the desert and all the beauty is here.

Then I went to stay at my daughter Kayla's house. On Christmas Eve  I happened to get on Facebook and made a comment on someone's post and one thing led to another and we started talking. We talked all night and the next night and have been talking ever since.  This was a guy I'd gone to high school and we'd been in ROTC together. We found that we have this very strong connection that only grows stronger every time we talk. He lives in Massachusetts over 2,000 miles away but it does not seem to matter. This is a person that I can tell anything to. This is a person that understands why I am depressed and tries to help me in the best way that he knows how.  He has shared the things that he has gone through in life knowing that I will not judge him. I love him. I know most people can't understand how you can love someone you have not seen in 30 years but believe me, it is very possible. If two people are meant to be together, neither time nor distance seem to matter. So that is my story. I don't want any pity because I know that everything happens for a reason and I believe it all happened so that I can be with my family and if it all works out, with the man I love.

peace and love to y'all.


  1. Jerk!

    Quite frankly, if he cares so little about you that he can do such a ting - and can't even tell you to your face - then you're better off without him!

    I hope you find happiness with the friend you've fallen in love with. I agree; distance doesn't matter when you love someone. The man I love - and am now married to - was the other side of the world during the first 18 months of our relationship, and for most of the second half of the first year of our marriage.

    Stay strong!