Wednesday, February 1, 2012
If I let anger stay in my heart I will never be able to move forward spiritually or in any other way. I will be stuck right where I am now. So I am writing this letter to Russell because it is what I need to do at this moment and eventually he will come on here and read it.
I forgive you for everything. I forgive you for the way you left me here even though it would have been so less traumatic if you had just had the courage to tell me to my face that you did not want to be with me anymore. Sure I would have been just as upset but I would have had some closure on the end of a relationship. I forgive you for letting me believe that we were going to have a life together in Arizona. I forgive you for letting me do all that work towards that goal that in the end was nothing but a lie. I forgive you for certain things you said to me throughout our relationship that made me feel really bad about myself. I forgive you for not being faithful and then denying it. But most of all, I forgive myself for letting you treat me that way. I forgive myself for going back to you and moving to Oklahoma (after the first breakup) when I knew in my heart it was not the right thing to do. I forgive myself for staying in a relationship that was probably never meant to be. I hope you now have the Peace in your life that you have been searching for.