When I was young I could not stand the thought of anything *religious*. I can't really say that I did not believe in God....I just didn't think about it. I did however always believe that we lived many lives. These two facts when you put them together don't really make sense but not much in life does make sense.
I did not come from a religious family growing up. I think I went to church a couple of times when I was a kid and it felt very foreign. That's the only way I can think of to describe it. When I was older in my 20's my friend Lisa and I used to go to church with our young kids. It was so long ago and I think we brought our kids and left them in the nursery....but I can't even remember for sure! Going to that church never felt *real*. It was nice going there together but I never felt like I belonged or that it was the right place for me. After my friend moved, I did not bother to go anymore.
Then when we moved to NM I got the idea that I'd go to church and I dragged Kayla with me and stuck her in Sunday school. This was a Nazarene church and was a little better than the first place. Kayla didn't really want to go with me but I brought her anyhow since she was too young (unlike my older daughter's) to refuse. This place did not feel right either and we only went for a few months. I'm sure Kayla was relieved.
Fast forward about 6 years and I had sort of a Revelation when I learned my daughter Kayla had that special *gift* where she could see and hear things that others could not see. I explained that in a post last month. I started researching and reading a lot. I started meditating and did a couple of past life regressions. I first studied Gnosticism . Gnostic (pronounced Nostic) means seeker of knowledge. I did a lot of *seeking*! I met some people on the internet (mainly my friend George but some others too) who were very helpful and we'd have long discussions about spiritual subjects and the meaning of life. I read Edgar Cayce, Sylvia Browne, Wayne Dyer, Neale Donald Walsh and so many more wonderful authors. The Conversation With God books were very enlightening! If you haven't read them, you may want to do so because they can be life changing. During this time I also got readings done online (and did some myself!) and got Reiki treatments which is a very spiritual event in itself.
Ok along the way I also studied Christianity, Buddhism, Shamanism, Paganism and Wicca. I think I really clicked with Paganism because with this I could find my own truths. But now I feel like I need more than that. I feel very drawn towards a more nature based religion.
Here's an explanation that says it better than I could ever say it.
This is from the Celtic Connection
The Supreme Creative Force:
The One is the all encompassing unity of all things which exist. This includes that which is manifest to our limited awareness and understanding as well as that which is not. The One is infinite to a point that the human mind simply cannot comprehend its vastness.
Polarities of The One:
The Goddess and God are seen as a manifestation of the feminine and masculine forces of nature. Each having unique characteristics that when combined result in the harmonious creation of life.
Contrary to what those who choose to persecute or lie about us wish to believe, Wicca is a very peaceful, harmonious and balanced way of thinking and life which promotes oneness with the divine and all which exists.
Wicca is a deep appreciation and awe in watching the sunrise or sunset, the forest in the light of a glowing moon, a meadow enchanted by the first light of day. It is the morning dew on the petals of a beautiful flower, the gentle caress of a warm summer breeze upon your skin, or the warmth of the summer sun on your face. Wicca is the fall of colorful autumn leaves, and the softness of winter snow. It is light, and shadow and all that lies in between. It is the song of the birds and other creatures of the wild. It is being in the presence of Mother Earths nature and being humbled in reverence. When we are in the temple of the Lord and Lady, we are not prone to the arrogance of human technology as they touch our souls. To be a Witch is to be a healer, a teacher, a seeker, a giver, and a protector of all things. If this path is yours, may you walk it with honor, light and integrity.
Wicca is a belief system and way of life based upon the reconstruction of pre-Christian traditions originating in Ireland, Scotland, and Wales. While much of the information of how our ancestors lived, worshiped and believed has been lost due to the efforts of the medieval church to wipe our existence from history, we try to reconstruct those beliefs to the best of our ability with the information that is available.
I don't know why I feel drawn to Wicca but when I look at all the aspects of it, it's everything that I've ever believed in. Some people believe that Wiccan's are Satanists but that can't be any further from the truth. They do not believe in Hell or the Devil (neither do I) since Hell is a Christian created concept.
So....this is where my path seems to be leading me so I'll follow along. So life is evolving as it is meant to. I've gone from seeing *God* as a scary old man with white hair who can be vengeful to now knowing that God is more of a universal energy and realizing that everything is part of the One. Everything is connected. The God and Goddess are the forces of nature.
Well all I can say is that it's about time! ;) I think we all evolve as we progress in life, we all have our own truths and there are many paths to our truth. I also read on The Celtic Connection.....picture from above a forest and in the middle of the forest is a meadow. Look closer and you will see many paths to that meadow.
Well that's how life is. Those paths can be your beliefs, religion or just your good intentions. You can choose whatever path you choose and you will all end up in the same place. Does this make any sense?
Once more thing....I feel very lucky that Russell and I share pretty much the same beliefs (but he prefers not to give himself any label). He's supportive in whatever I choose to believe in. It is so awesome to have someone close to me who I can discuss all these things with and have them understand and even agree. Well that's it for now. Comments are welcome.
Peace and Blessings.